hey buddy...

Lo and behold!.. i just did it.. i can't believe it!..

I decided to just tell him, i figured that he's one of my closest friends and most probably he won't put too much malice on it. I told him through a text messege and made it sound like a joke, well it was actually such a big joke for me.. (i find it weird and crazy)

this is the exact words: "Hey buddy, you know what, i find this weird and really crazy, cuz i think im starting to like you, and its NOT a really good thing!! hahah"

I had to wait for his reply.. and to make the long story short, it turned out really good.. he had to talk me out of finding the whole thing crazy because according to him its not.. so i had to explain to him my point (the whole risking our friendship thing and falling for my closest friend) and he goes "so does that have to stop you from liking someone?"... i was dumbfounded of course and all i had to say was "i don't know..." pretty lame but yea i really dont know what to say, he has a point..

I dont exactly know what this means cuz for one thing im not a guy and i can't read their minds but im hoping its not a bad thing.. (or is it? guysss out there??)

It seems ok though and its like our friendship's up one notch..

im super happy..

Wanna knock myself out!

I am actually on the verge of defying myself from my life-motto "Good things happen to those who wait"..

It's weird though that when you see yourself so happy you still tend to look for something more than that. I guess that just proves how people really never get contented no matter what (material or non-material).

For one thing i know that i am still on the right track for not giving into the temptation of confessing my feelings to one of my friends. It's crazy like hell when i think about it cuz its just too easy to say, but i keep reminding myself about the fact that saying something like that would either make or break our friendship. And i just wish that i am right to believe that.

Help me see the point in here... background of the story dates way back when we were still kids, freakin grade schoolers -- we were bestfriends, or close friends so to speak and for some twist of fate, their family had to migrate to another country for good. So for 8 long years no communication ever happened. Until one fateful day (once again) he finds my name in some community website and decides to keep in-touch.. blah blah blah, he came to visit for a very short time, we met and started to be really really good friends again..

I am HAPPY! cuz of course he's back in my life (a special part of my life, i'd like to call) but then what's next? Another worthwhile fact to consider is that our friendship means a whole lot to me. And like ive always put in mind and heart that it's more than enough to just be friends not just friends but really good friends with him. (im the girl in the story by the way) It's like i'm really happy that he's here again and to risk our friendship for my feelings? is it worth to even try?

I'd like to think that God might be the one bringing us back together and that's a really good thing to keep in mind before i ruin everything he has planned for both of us and it just leads me back to my life-motto, but the real question is: Is it really worth it to wait??

I really DONT want to screw it, but it makes me itch like crazy.. hahah

Help! shine a really bright light on my blinding eyes!! heheh

to take or not to take?

I'm not a nurse for one thing and i don't ever plan to be one [even if my grandpa insists i have this compassionate heart fit for a nurse.. well there's more to it i suppose].. Don't get me wrong, im not against nurses or anything, as a matter of fact, i look up to them.. They work harder than doctors [my opinion and observation] and they play a really big part in the whole medical scenario..

Anyway, there was this big issue about the Nurse' board exam, something about a leakage so they had to stop the new nurses [only those that took the recent exam] from taking their oath. Of course alot of them got disappointed [what do you expect] then there was alot of crying and all that.. [hehe too much drama] because the authorities decided that they re-take the exam..

I dunno what's so bad about that idea, i mean the authorities were right.. You see, if you really didn't cheat and if you really deserve to pass then you don't have to worry about it right..? just take it and it will all be good and dandy.. They have also been exposed to the medical world while studying [like interns since the beginning of their 2nd year] so they should have memorized what nurse' do and all that.. Besides, don't they realize that they would be playing a really important part in that whole medical thing so they really have to be 100% qualified, i mean HELLO! as soon as you're done taking your oath you'd be dealing with people's lives.. and THAT should be taken seriously..

What do you think.. am i right or am i right?! :)

just one of 'em surveys

.. i dont usually answer surveys but this one seemed interesting sooo i think whoever reads this blog [that's if anyone does] should give it a try. heheh :D

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
NO CHEATING!

How are you feeling today? With a smile by Southborder
Will you get far in life? If I keep my heart out of sight by Nikki Gil
How do your friends see you? Part time lover Stevie Wonder
Will you get married? Kailan by MYMP
What is your best friend's theme song? Absolutely Everybody by Vanessa Amorosi
What is the story of your life? This Kiss by Faith Hill
What was high school like? True to your heart by Raven Symone
How can you get ahead in life? Invisible man by 98 degrees
What is the best thing about your friends? Everything you do by M2M
What is today going to be like? Missing you by the Backstreet Boys
What is in store for this weekend? The Past by Jed Madela
What song describes you? Angel of Mine by Monica
To describe your grandparents? Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado Ft. Timbaland
How is your life going? No One by Aj and Aly
What song will they play at your funeral? Mas Que Nada by Sergio Mendes ft. The black Eyes Peas
How does the world see you? I don’t wanna wait by Paula Cole
Will you have a happy life? You were there by Avalon
What do your friends really think of you? Bop to the Top Highschool musicale
Do people secretly lust after you? High by The Speaks ft. Barbie Almalbis
How can I make myself happy? Take me out of the dark by Gary Valenciano
What should you do with your life? What makes you different by The Backstreet Boys
Will you ever have children? Just the way you are by Jay R

enjoy and fishao!..

is that a "hiyey" or what?! :)

just a normal day... went to the office for my intern responsibilities, got there in the middle of lunch break but everyone seemed to be sooo quiet and no one's eating when in fact they love having breaks... (its deadline week!) no wonder! haha..

Anyway i asked for something to do and i was given the task to transcribe an interview with an actor.. MIkko Palanca! well he seemed very nice and intelligent, i almost wished that i'd also get a chance to talk to him, but then again that's too much hassle so im scrapping it from my wishlist. It was a long interview but it was fun.. It was actually funny because it seemed like it wasnt a formal interview like on the later part of it the interviewer said that she has a boyfriend and even told the actor (who was laughing and id like to imagine wearing an "uhh-ok!" face) that they (she and her bf) would soon be celebrating their anniversary.. heheh but the good thing about that was the actor seemed to open up and to forget that he's being recorded.. :) Actually i enjoyed doing it, and it was one of the coolest interviews ive transcribed.. :)

And then back to school.. after an hours journey, i discovered that our very-brilliant professor's once again absent!.. with no word whatsoever!.. Well, the good thing about it was that i got to have another senseless conversation with frostie... fun fun fun.. :) I guess i'd have to make wednesday a frostie day (well at least for this term!) :)

about to break

... im soo stressed and at the same time im slacking off. No connection? well that's how i am now, i am so disoriented. I know im not like this..
Its like im sooo busy and my mind has a lot of things to worry about, wakes me in the middle of the night and imagine planning while you sleep... But once i make myself do it, im like, it can wait...

Maybe im insane! What if all these are just a product of my imagination.. Just making myself believe that i actually have tons of schoolwork and intern responsibilities.. When in fact i really dont.. Maybe ive watched too many movies about someone who's life is so fast-paced and that being chased by time is just a normal daily routine..

I'd like to think about it that way, or am i actually just thinking about it... think about it.. why am i even blogging if im "that" busy and stressed?!

Argghhhh... all these thinking just makes me not want to think anymore...

I need a hard slap on my face! anyone!?

a happy day

Yesterday was one of those days unexpected happy days.. It was a wednesday and as my weekly routine i have to go to the company where i work as an intern. I was once again a little early than the usual (though not that early as when i started) and i carry with me a study of an ad design which i just thought of an hour after i finished preparing myself to go to work..

The thing is, i dont usually have much confidence over a work ive only thought of for an hour, but then i showed it and was shocked to hear the "it's a cutie" remark from one of my heads. It made me smile, and that was the start of a very wonderful day.. Although i had to add just a few details to it, they were all so happy with the ad i made and after coming up with the final and approved design she once again said that "its sooo nice, great job.." remark.

Anyway i felt so happy that my usual 10 minute walk to the train station seemed only 2 minutes and there was not a drop of sweat visible on my face. And although my 6 to 9 class which turned out to be soooo boring with a professor who speaks softer than i am, who stutters and gives lame examples and doesnt get his student's antics still made me smile until i got home..

Well of course it was kind of a freebie to be able to once again talk to frostie even if he seemed to be unusually quiet and being able to talk to "bah" made the whole day extra special..

I really love yesterday's day.. (sounds odd) but i really do..

nothingness

the truth is...

i really dont know what to feel.. sometimes i feel like everything's meant to end up that way, like everything just fell into place.. and sometimes i feel like it was sooo unfair.. im happy, yeah i am, soo happy that all i can do is just smile at all the anwers i get, no matter how painful it is...

For the first time in my life after breaking up with him i felt soo comfortable, we went out, we talked and we spent time with each other, like everything was just like before, the only difference was that its not us anymore. I went home so happy that i couldn't even feel my cheeks, ive been smiling when we said goodbye..

I promised myself i wont ask him about us anymore, i know he would just turn me down again, but stupid me, i did... and its all the same..

now i dont feel anything.. im so lost, really really lost.. i keep telling myself that its just like in the movies, eat alot of icecream and it would be alright.. but it isnt.. maybe if i really did that i would have eaten all the icecreams in this world..

DOnt get me wrong im not sad.... i just dont know what to feel anymore.. i like him, and still love him.. but what can i do, i cant change his mind...

im scared it wouldn't really be us anymore.. forever.....

stress aftershock

... duck and dill went hopping on the hill
to stretch a little blower
duck bent down and took his gown
and dill went flying over...

this is what happens to you when you've just gone through your finals... hahahahah :) cant imagine how i went through all of it at once.. imagine passing 2 final projects everyday in a week... whew! i cant blame my mind if it twitches sometimes.. ahhahah :)

Its good to be back though... back back back..... anyway why is it sooo weird writing in here but it makes you feel so good... its like talking to yourself difference is your not in front of a mirror...

ohhhh my mind is just too tired... really really tired...

fishao!

a pick-up line on a very hot day...

This happened about 6 months ago.. i remembered it because i was watching an old Filipino movie on Cinema one awhile ago, all about trying to get a girl's phone number and all... Anyway, that day was sooo hot like you really dont want to go out but i had no choice because i have to go to school, i never thought it would be one of those days i will never forget. Everything went as it usually does except that i had a hard time waiting for a ride. Finally, an empty ride passed and i hopped in, by that time i felt like i was in heaven because it was one of those rides where the aircon really gives you icy cold air (not like those that doesnt give you anything at all or worse it gives off really hot air like that of a heater). a couple of other passengers hopped in and for minutes nobody sat beside me... until someone called and our ride had to stop... This is it!!! a hunk of a guy sat beside me. I wasn't actually minding him because i was still enjoying the cold air until i noticed that he kept saying excuse me miss for like five times already. I really thought he was having a hard time sitting beside me so i just said sorry and moved a little closer to the driver. I thought he was finally settled until he paid the fare and he had to say the "excuse me miss" once again.. I looked at him and he smiled at me.. next thing i know his hand was stretched infront of me, waiting for me to shake it as he introduced himself... i stared at him feeling a bit weird and for a second i thought he was one of those religious guys who would share the gospel to everyone on that ride so i shook his hand and gave him a smile... I guess he was waiting for me to introduce myself because he kept on looking and then again he starts talking to me... he goes... Miss, are you related to the Sequia's? and i was like to whom? and he continues... cause you look like Jenny Sequia... for a minute my mind stopped functioning and then i realized that that was just the most wierd thing a guy could ever tell me... i mean, i dont look like Jenny Sequia and i guess she would protest if she heard that herself... and he goes on and on, telling me about himself even if im not answering his questions blah, blah, blah... to make the long story short, he asked for my number and my name.. well, i had to make up a name just to make him feel like i was listening to him and for the number i had to tell him i lost my phone.. Its not like we'll ever see each other again... Anyway, even though he was a bit talkative he made my day.. that whole pick-up line thing made me smile.. I just cant believe that guys really do that (well desperate ones.. ) But i salute you... john where ever you are.. just a tip though, even if you have the guts, that style, doesnt work all the time... :)

happy birthday to me!!!

Happy birthday to me last thursday... hahaha... its funny how i forgot to write something in here on my special day.. but anyway, it was fun even though i wasnt feeling perfectly well that day, and i was happy because i had time to think about all the blessings ive received for the past years.. i mean come to think of it, im 20 not a teen anymore but im not that ahsamed to tell it to the whole wide world reason: because there are people who never got a chance to reach this age.. or better yet, there are people who reached this age but not as healthy as i am now.. i know i get sick once in a while but im thankful its not that serious...

not feeling well

i guess its a given that everytime you get sick you just cant think. I say that because i should be doing one of my homeworks today, actually i attempted but no luck.. it's just not happening.. i openned it and then i just ended up staring at it and listening to music. Its a good thing though that there's no classes today (thank God) well ive always wished that ever since i started feeling so bad and my temperature started to be hotter than the usual. But then again, while i was just watching television, i wished that this whole no classes thing happened when im all well and good because that way i can do anything and probably enjoyed the whole day.. ive got to get some rest...

come what may

Nobody knows what's instore for them tomorrow, tonight even the next second.. It's like your playing chess, trying to figure out what your next move'll be, while being clueless of the other's plans. I have not proven anything "that" big in my life yet, but i know and i have learned through the many years of living here on earth that, our life is really full of surprises. Surprises that would make you smile, laugh and even cry.. I guess in a way it's kind of cool (that life is like that) because it makes us look forward to whatever's next.. (not unless you did something wrong and you're really guilty.. DUH!) You have to admit that a little mystery now and then spices it up and makes it more interesting and meaningful.. :) imagine if life is soo predictable like once you're born, you go with a book that says everything you'd be doing in your life or a video with your life "fast-forward" .. That'll be boring! you woudn't think anymore, its useless to try new things, its not fun because you wouldnt have the opportunity to do something for the first time and discover what'll happened next, to learn what's right and what's wrong.. Well of course for some reasons, even i, wish that i would have a glimpse of what would happened next in my life.. especially when youre expecting an answer to what seems like your life long prayers and wishes.. I guess its just a matter of waiting and having faith because i know that our lives are planned by God in the way that He knows best suits us.. Accepting life as it is wouldn't make things worse for you in fact it would make it a lot easier. In the meantime while we wait for what's instore for us and for new things to learn we can always live our lives to the fullest (an emphasis to that its spelled with a "U" not with the double "O" :)

isnt it suppose to be Valentine's day

There is really something very unusual for the past 2 days.. Ive been wondering what it is and then it hit me, just now... why is everyone talking about ghosts?? i mean come to think of it, its February, 9 months away from the month of the dead.. cmon people, as much as i love to hear histories all those mysteries it freaks me out. Yesterday it was what everyone was talking about and then now, a person killed someone and took his own life after; this happened in an establishment right in front of our University (well, for obvious reasons that person wanted to put an end to whatever he/she wanted to put an end to..) I am bothered, really... well not that bothered-"bothered" i just want to know.. WHY? i mean i know the upcoming event isnt as Merry as Christmas, and that i personally am not a big fan of the event (valentine's day).. but im just sooo curious why, its the first time this ever happened...

this is something else now

actually, i dunno what to write.. i feel like im in the mood to but there's no particular thing on my mind.. I still dont know how this thing works, and im eager to see if people really read things here.. :) i dunno... anyway, ive always dreamed of being a really good writer well not my dream actually but something that i wanted to do just for fun.. I love to read, and when i get to read a book that was written like in a journal, i would always stop and think that if ill be able to write would i also make people stop and think.. Im telling you now, im not like those who would really make you think after reading the whole article, but id love to or love to know if i did.. hehhe.. Its funny how it feels writing here for the first time, i feel like im talking to myself... hahaha..

first timer

whoa.. im actually not used to sharing my thoughts.. but i guess there would always (and i say that again.. always) be things that would make you realize that somehow you have to get those stuff out of your head or you'll explode.. heheh.. :) ill try to make youre time worth while though.. (just try...) :)