paralyzed

Its a little too late for me to blog about this but i guess it would be better for me to actually share what i feel..

Three weeks ago (aug 28, 2008 to be exact), i woke up feeling very unusual, i know there's something wrong with me.. i looked at myself in the mirror and i noticed that my lips went sideways everytime i pout.. I didn't mind it at that time, thinking that i might have slept on that side of my face and it got stuck or something.. but it was really bothering me..

The following day, i felt that the right side of my face was not functioning.. although it wasn't deformed or anything like that, i couldn't close my right eye, i couldnt make the right side of my nose big and so on... Right then i knew i have Bellspalcy..

On the 30th of august i was diagnosed to have Bellspalcy.. although it was mild because you would only know i have it when i pout and close my eyes -- i was advised by the doctor to be in Complete Bed Rest for two weeks..

I was stressed and at that time i just got out of the company i sooo wanted to get out off.. For sometime i was enjoying every moment of my CBR, until it hit me one day that what if things wont be normal again.. I wanted to get out and start looking for a job.. It was really bothering me that the plans i have wouldn't push through after all.. There were alot of things going on, like my parents wanted me to come home (and i understand them totally), and that my bf wanted me to stay with him too.. I felt like my world was soo small and that i cant move, i dont know what to do first or even actually DO..

The Bellspalcy thing scared me, but i guess what scared me the most was having all my plans ruined like im paralyzed, not literally but paralyzed in the sense that i couldn't live my dreams, that im stuck in a box, scared to disappoint my parents, scared to disappoint my bf and scared not to find a new job because doing nothing already bored the hell out of me..

I know that ive done alot of bad things and that im undeserving.. but unfailingly God still answered my prayers and made everything fall into place again..

Im healed (and according to the doctor i recovered really fast, thank God for that).. and i have a new job (same job, but diff company which i totally love..)

I guess the only lesson learned here is that to have faith in God that no matter what He will never leave you.. no matter what...

:)