Friday, January 09, 2009

Am i wrong to be feeling this way?

Its just a conversation we had over text messages since i can't say it straight out on his face..

Yesterday, i discovered that he still receives pictures from his ex girlfriend.. what made me feel really bad is seeing how he exerted an effort trying to put their pictures together (like they're together in the photo or something).. and the excuse i got is "I'm just practicing my photoshop skills"..

The day before that, i discovered that he still (STILL!! inspite of everything!) takes her calls, and he even called his two other exes..

Who in their right mind would take a reason as lame as that.. he told me to delete anything i want because it means nothing to him.. but i didn't..

At the end of the day, i tried my hardest to hide the way i feel and still carried on being my normal self, just to see what he'd do.. and of course he didn't say anything about it, like nothing ever happened..

So today while he's at work i sent him a message:

"About yesterday, I just couldn't understand why, inspite of my telling you alot of times to stop communicating with her, you still do. I can understand that she's the one calling you first but if you don't really want anything to do with her anymore (just like what you said) you'd tell her to stop calling and sending you pictures and you'd also stop practicing you photoshop skills on both of your pictures. Remember when you told me to stop communicating with my bestfriend? I stopped ASAP as in zero communication with him at all, and i didn't regret doing that because i really love you. WHy can't you do the same thing for me? I don't think its too much to ask. My trust in you is still 100% and i still love you."

To which he replied:

"ok. that will never happen again"

I said:

"You'd seriously do that? or are you just saying that?"

He said:

"Im serious and i promise you that, not just her but the others too"

I said:

"thank you. ill take your word for it"

He said:

"Don't worry, that's for sure because i love you"

I said:

"ok"

**correct me if im wrong, but if he really loves me then why does it have to take him a long time to realize that he needs to stop doing that, that he's NOT supposed to do that! why does he have to wait to hear something like that from me..

Don't get me wrong or something but i don't trust him anymore, and as hard as it is for me to admit, i think my love and my trust in him is starting to fade...

The odd thing about it is that if you do something like that to him he'd totally get angry.. and he'd create fights accusing me of doing such things when in fact its him who's doing it..

Im risking alot for this to work and yet i get this?? i think its so unfair...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

you are not wrong. its the funniest thing because my best friend and i both find ourselves with others that keep us coming back for more. hes saying just enough to keep you around, but not enough to make you certain. this will happen until your heart is incapable of functioning properly without constant assurance from him. it shouldnt be that way. you should be comfortable. i waited too long and now im in a bad place. i know im just some random guy, but i couldnt help but notice your situation. i apologize if you find that ridiculous.

carebear said...

hey, its ok, i actually appreciate it, you really dont have to apologize..

im really hoping to hear other's opinions..

i like your blog by the way, hope you dont mind me following..

:)