To you: Part one

To the greatest performer ever known -- Michael Jackson,

I still can't believe that you're actually gone -- for real. It's sad. I have never in my life admitted to being a big fan of someone but with you, there's no hiding it because you are amazing. It's really sad that i wasn't able to touch you or even see you face to face in this lifetime (though i would only be speechless and spoil that moment) but i know that when its my turn to be with God i would see you there dancing and singing like the king of pop you've always and forever be.

I miss you already, and in spite of all the controversies i am still your fan. I still have alot of questions to ask you but i guess "Michael Jackson" wouldn't be Michael Jackson if people completely understood the things you've done and would have done.

I still hope that your death was just part of your great performances where you'd just wake up one day (like your thriller mtv) and announce that its the start of your greatest come back.

You're still the greatest performer ever! You will be missed..

Thank you for bringing such joy and entertainment to all of us, we can never thank you as much but we can only pray and hope that you're happy and comfortable now resting peacefully and watching us. We know you've lived a full life.

RIP MJ ..

Tit for tat

It's my sister's burp-day! woohoo! :) But unfortunately im stuck here far away from her because of the typhoon.. It's flooding outside!..

Oh well on to my very uneventful life.. i just fished a job post and tried my luck and now im waiting for the final interview.. (fingers crossed).. i couldn't say more but then again my life magically became exaggeratedly boring and complicated and it has been this way for about a year and 2 months now.. but yea know, who's to blame but me and that's the sad part.. The only light i see from this dark tunnel is the day when they'd finally migrate to canada.. and i wish oh no i pray that he'd have to stay there for years and couldn't come back for me.. Honestly? i really wouldn't mind that at all.. As a matter of fact i would be so relieved..

Don't get me wrong though.. i really love him and that's without a doubt.. but ive come to realize that the key to a very fair relationship is for both individuals to continue growing.. In our case -- he's the only one being blessed...

All i want now is a job and a very peaceful separation where its his fault or probably the situations fault and we wouldn't have any choice but to give it up.. I don't want to be cheated because i really love him and that would hurt so bad.. plus the least i could have as a consolation for all these is for the risks i took and the decisions i made be worth it.. while we're together.. I'd make him happy and i hope he'd do the same thing... quits for quits.. tit for tat..

There's no point in moping again because it only reminds me that my life would be overly exciting if i didn't take this awful and unrewarding turn.. my bad..

So i guess cheers and a bright future ahead..

oh.... buddy's about to come.. can't wait to see him... six days and counting..

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Oh the update..

But of course.. i still talk to her.. it's been frustrating though because no matter how i try not to see her faults it just irritates me and it has been so hard trying to keep myself from being sarcastic...

She's really boring and cheap. FOR REAL..

im keeping my cool though..

Sheesh.. its just such a wonder how the guy im with right now hates Bisaya people when in fact he has had bisaya girlfriends and not just that.. the cheap ones (for this certain girl)... I just smile everytime he speaks of how he hates all of the bisayas because its like he's eating what he's saying!..

a sudden change of heart?

I just came home from going school supplies shopping with the daughter of mr. partner, it was fun at least i was able to go out.. though not as fun as how it was when i go out with my sister.. The whole trip just made me miss my sister even more..

Its just a good thing that i finally found someone i could tell my feelings to (just regarding my fights with mr. partner and how bad he gets when he's mad and all...) just cause we're on the same boat.. She knows what im talking about and we both feel for each other.. It was just kind of odd because she asked me how i could stand being with him.. I mean, it was his daughter asking me that.. But i just smiled.. You can never trust anybody that much..

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The Update:

I guess im not that bad... i just realized i want to keep chatting with her and just make her my friend instead of making her fall for "him" because then i'd get to know her and probably understand why she has the nerve to do such evil things to me and stuff...

Though im not closing my doors to make a move and all, at least now if i become her friend, id hit her more when she comes back and starts to flirt again.. like what they say, your friends are your worst enemy..

I'll give her a chance.. for now

:)